Set logic aside

And play the game where losing is actually winning and your character may be the dumbest person to ever live!

After waking from a terrifying dream of your own untimely death, you attempt to make your way to the Finnigan Brothers' Fun Park for its last day then back home again in this all new text-adventure from CoaguCo Industries. You must survive 10 pages of ridiculous deaths and traps spanning over 157 ways to die with no discernible way to navigate to safety. It's like playing Russian roulette with five chambers loaded, but more frustrating.

Warning, this game is mostly reading. Lots and lots of reading.

The game features

  • All-new Choose Mode so you can decide your fate instead of the computer
  • Soundtrack by Azucar
  • Two holidays modes: Halloween and X-Mas; active on their respective holidays
  • The Saboteur: fuck over people in the community or the computer and vice-versa
  • 20+ achievements
  • Of course, all your stats are backed up on the Steam (if playing the Steam version) and CoaguCo's servers

Recent News, Very Recent

X-Mas Holiday Events Now Active - The Dope Game and One Way To Die

Hey there, we are just writing to let you know that the X-Mas Holiday events are now active in both The Dope Game and One Way To Die. Besides theme changes and some extra achievements becoming active, users may randomly receive a gift key to one of our games when in-game.

We are also selling our games at a discount over at Itch.io, for those of your who may not own any. A little bit of a head-start on Steam’s Winter Sale. But expect similar discounts on Steam too.

Happy holidays!

#coaguco#steam#games#holidays#dopegame#owtd#Winter Sale#x-mas 2017Wed, 20 Dec 2017 11:53:10

Halloween Sales On Steam and Itch.io

Yeah, bitches, it’s that time of year again and we have games on sale all over the place.  We’ll start with the big one: Steam.

The Dope Game is 45% off.

The Dope Game: The Stash DLC is 40% off.

The Dope Game: Dope Fiend Edition is 49% off.

Raise Your Own Clone is 35% off.

One Way To Die: Deluxe Edition is 51% off.

Valve has some restrictions on how low games can be sold for so One Way To Die has hit that.  Moving on to Itch.io, here are the sales over there.

The CoaguCo Bundle (all three games) at 50% off.

The Dope Game: Dope Fiend Edition is 45% off.

Raise Your Own Clone is 35% off.

One Way To Die: Deluxe Edition is 75% off.

Also, the Halloween events are active in The Dope Game and One Way To Die, so get on that shit!

#coaguco#owtd#ryoc#Halloween#Steam#itch.io#games#sales#pc#macSat, 28 Oct 2017 06:43:00

One Way To Die - Android Edition Discontinued

Hey there!  That’s right!  Today we are discontinuing the Android version of One Way To Die.  Why?  Because mobile development is a horrendous ordeal and Google Play Store is a labyrinthine nightmare.  But mostly because mobile development sucks.

That being said, one of our least favorite games being taken of the mobile market, which we regard as a cesspool, isn’t a huge deal!  Technically it’s a win-win for everyone involved!

#coaguco#owtd#androidMon, 09 Oct 2017 08:22:42
Read More News

Statistics Of The Dead

Most Games

Steam: 12,739,659Web: 13,322App: 9,046Desktop: 7,682

Most Aspirin

Steam: 1,534,634App: 2,220Web: 1,819Desktop: 1,589

Most Deaths

Steam: 12,427,622Web: 13,053App: 8,872Desktop: 7,584

Most Gas

Steam: 1,977,343Desktop: 687App: 528Web: 350

Most Wins

Steam: 312,039Web: 269App: 174Desktop: 98

Most Sandwiches

Steam: 1,657,661App: 2,475Desktop: 1,905Web: 1,798

Death Totals By User Group

Biological
Steam: 1,240,079Web: 1,216App: 882Desktop: 727
Crushed
Steam: 3,094,473Web: 2,504App: 1,903Desktop: 1,854
Explosion
Steam: 924,313Web: 881App: 629Desktop: 482
Punctured
Steam: 1,238,456Web: 1,533App: 1,019Desktop: 770
Burned / Froze
Steam: 855,775Desktop: 524Web: 513App: 355
Drowned
Steam: 411,323Web: 384App: 357Desktop: 301
Gunshot
Steam: 628,906Web: 475App: 436Desktop: 329
Poisoned
Steam: 838,507Web: 1,003App: 711Desktop: 633
Choked
Steam: 1,514,812Web: 2,085App: 1,333Desktop: 1,055
Electrocution
Steam: 391,527Web: 1,070App: 522Desktop: 319
Miscellaneous
Steam: 1,289,431Web: 1,389App: 725Desktop: 584

Folks On The Leaderboards

Biggest Losers

  1. Linnun at 459,230 deaths
  2. Stexred at 353,679 deaths
  3. Novay at 231,155 deaths
  4. Unlucky #302354875 at 160,325 deaths
  5. 0ddfx at 146,837 deaths

Earliest Winners

  1. Katrillion on Sep. 13, 2012
  2. ShadiamondsAreolaVulvaExtravaganza on Mar. 02, 2013
  3. rinachandayo on May. 29, 2013
  4. kasia.muszynska on Aug. 11, 2013
  5. avrame on Nov. 13, 2014

Biggest Winners

  1. Linnun at 7,802 wins
  2. Novay at 7,059 wins
  3. Mr72 at 3,775 wins
  4. Kebblers at 2,251 wins
  5. turtletime at 2,218 wins

Fastest Completist

  1. Mr72 on Sep. 06, 2015
  2. AzzTheBodymazz on Sep. 08, 2015
  3. Estel on Dec. 25, 2015
  4. shadowshiv on Jan. 08, 2016
  5. phel on Jan. 10, 2016

Steam Edition - Change Log

This is the official change log for One Way To Die: Steam Edition.

Version 4.0.9 - Killed [ 09/24/17 ]

  • Added: support for SSL
  • Fixed: incorrect executable icon for Windows
  • Fixed: problem with API when wiping stats

Version 4.0.8 - Killed [ 08/30/17 ]

  • Changed: upgraded to Godot Engine v2.1.4
  • Changed: screen to maximize on launch, unless set to fullscreen in config
  • Fixed: issue with connecting to CoaguCo API over SSL

Version 4.0.7 - Killed [ 05/27/17 ]

  • Added: check and correction for usernames having weird characters
  • Change: API system to match new username correction functions
  • Changed: upgraded to Godot Engine 2.1.3

Version 4.0.6 - Killed [ 03/29/17 ]

  • Added: enter to submit choice in Choose Mode
  • Added: 1-3 selects options on pages

Version 4.0.5 - Killed [ 02/04/17 ]

  • Added: back button to mode select
  • Added: recommended play style
  • Changed: upgraded to Godot Engine 2.1.2
  • Fixed: game crashing if pressing ESC on mode select

Version 4.0.4 - Killed [ 12/13/16 ]

  • Added: functions for 12 Days of CoaguCo Christmas

Version 4.0.3 - Killed [ 11/22/16 ]

  • Changed: updated to Godot Engine v2.1.1
  • Changed: updated to Steamworks v1.38a

Version 4.0.2 - Killed [ 10/01/16 ]

  • Fixed: holiday mode enabling on the wrong days
  • Fixed: missing menu images for holiday modes
  • Fixed: wrong version numbers on builds

Version 4.0.1 - Killed [ 09/23/16 ]

  • Added: separate 32 and 64-bit Linux depots (actually added in 4.0.0)
  • Fixed: indentation issue on death recording, prevents certain stats saving right
  • Fixed: achievements having wrong IDs thus firing or displaying wrong
  • Fixed: ESC key function incorrectly named

Version 4.0.0 - Killed [ 09/22/16 ]

  • Added: new achievement - The Returned
  • Added: slightly different opening text after first death
  • Changed: CoaguCo API to fit new functions
  • Changed: game over to Godot Engine
  • Changed: sabotage mode to use local computer method
  • Changed: all graphics to new hand-drawn versions
  • Changed: slim-lined sabotage functions
  • Changed: corrected some option text
  • Removed: credits section
  • Removed: CoaguCo account login functions
  • Removed: desktop, web, and Android global stats from stats section

Version 3.6.2 - Jabbed [ 06/20/16 ]

  • Fix: 'Succumb To Infection' firing when you have aspirin
  • Fix: small spelling / grammar errors

Version 3.6.1 - Jabbed [ 04/30/16 ]

  • Fix: game crashing when 0 or 00 are entered
  • Fix: game "erasing" 0 at end of entered number; eg. 20, 30
  • Fix: game not understanding 02 is also 2

Version 3.6.0 - Jabbed [ 04/22/16 ]

  • Changed: Choose Mode is now the default
  • Changed: engine to use Pygame_SDL2
  • Fixed: Choose Mode ignoring numbers starting with 0
  • Fixed: more spelling and grammar issues, duh
  • Fixed: minor alpha glitch on splash screen
  • Fixed: issue where adding a leading zero in choice would bypass game's checking of results
  • Fixed: missing one graphical asset from Windows 32-bit version of Deluxe
  • Issue: spamming buttons will crash the game due to sound channel overrun (slow your roll)

Version 3.5.1 - Immolated [ 01/08/16 ]

  • Added: in-game toggle for Choose Mode
  • Added: indicator for Choose Mode being active (was still obvious)
  • Added: legacy support for older versions (update the game, you savages!)
  • Changed: heartbeat system to use new authorization code process
  • Changed: reporting system to work with legacy code and new system
  • Changed: small things to tighten up the code base
  • Fixed: issue with CoaguCo API and recording of save information
  • Fixed: issue with X-Mas mode running longer than it should have
  • Fixed: weird issue where sounds played even if sound was off
  • Fixed: issue with 'helpers' not saving correctly

Version 3.5.0 - Immolated [ 01/01/16 ]

  • Added: Choose Mode, allows the player to pick their fate instead of the system
  • Added: new menu graphic of "Now With Choose Mode"
  • Added: screen for Choose Mode decision (good luck)
  • Changed: community mode toggle to Choose Mode toggle
  • Changed: small issue with upstream statistic reporting
  • Fixed: small spelling and grammar issues, again
  • Fixed: save file not saving sound/music preferences

Version 3.4.1 - Hung [ 12/22/15 ]

  • Fixed: game crashing when achievement fires, but still recorded fine
  • Fixed: issue with normal version of game not recording trap disarming correctly
  • Fixed: order of X-Mas deaths in list, present and candy cane were recording as the other
  • Fixed: downstreaming of stats from CoaguCo to Steam causing crash
  • Fixed: fixed leaderboard ordering on Fastest Completionist

Version 3.4.0 - Hung [ 12/22/15 ]

  • Added: New and updated Sabotage Community Mode
  • Added: X-Mas Mode and 10 new related deaths
  • Added: X-Mas Mode achievement (weep)
  • Added: X-Mas death stats and specifics to the Deluxe version's statistics section
  • Added: sabotage options to deaths prevented by immunities
  • Changed: death by lists redone and categorized
  • Changed: statistic saving and reporting to save processing and bandwidth
  • Fixed: immunities not affecting new deaths after Sabotage Update was released
  • Fixed: achievement glitch that crashes the game
  • Fixed: Halloween mode activating during X-Mas mode
  • Fixed: various spelling and grammar issues (again)
  • Fixed: Steam stats moving upstream to CoaguCo when logged in
  • Fixed: additional Steam-related deaths not counting correctly
  • Fixed: player not getting Gasoline immunity if using a different immunity to survive a death at gas station

Version 3.3.3 - Gutted [ 10/29/15 ]

  • Added: Special Halloween Mode menu screen
  • Added: Special jack-o-lantern exit button in-game
  • Added: 10 new Halloweens deaths
  • Added: New achievement, The Hallowest
  • Fixed: More spelling and grammar fixes
  • Fixed: Small engine changes for page loading

Version 3.3.2 - Gutted [ 10/06/15 ]

  • Added: sabotage toggle off when you are the saboteur, click the blood smear
  • Added: text to disarming traps as 'Disarm Trap'
  • Added: version name and number to windows caption
  • Changed: text on setting traps to 'Set Trap'
  • Fixed: some spelling and grammar errors

Version 3.3.1 - Gutted [ 09/21/15 ]

  • Added: hooks for upcoming community changes to Sabotage
  • Changed: small tweak to how the computer picks trap setting

Version 3.3.0 - Gutted [ 09/21/15 ]

  • Added: offline Sabotage, now between you and the computer
  • Added: toggle for online/offline Sabotage mode
  • Changed: some graphic assets
  • Fixed: some spelling and grammar errors
  • Removed: temporarily the online Sabotage mode for upgrades

Version 3.2.2 - Flayed [ 09/15/15 ]

  • Added: 6 new normal deaths (Deluxe DLC only)
  • Added: 6 new Steam-only deaths (Deluxe DLC only)
  • Added: extended statistics (Deluxe DLC only)
  • Added: new graphics and layouts for statistics (Deluxe DLC only)
  • Fixed: page loop when disarming trap in Kitchen (all versions)

Version 3.2.1 - Flayed [ 09/13/15 ]

  • Changed: saboteur path slighty so going from trap to trap flows properly
  • Fixed: weird issue with 32-bit crashing out when calling Steamworks
  • Fixed: issue with saboteurs not being able to set traps properly
  • Fixed: threads not closing on some routine functions

Version 3.2.0 - Flayed [ 09/11/15 ]

  • Changed: time limit down to two minutes for saboteur if no traps are set
  • Changed: merged saboteur and non-saboteur page checks into one process
  • Changed: Anti Trapper and The Slaughter achievements have been lowered from 1,000 to 666
  • Fixed: issue where game keeps thinking you are the saboteur
  • Fixed: game confusing saboteur and non-saboteur in some sections
  • Fixed: not being able to access bathroom as saboteur
  • Fixed: saboteur's trap setting checks
  • Fixed: some grammatic and spelling errors

Version 3.1.2 - Electrocuted [ 09/09/15 ]

  • Hotfix for 3.1.1
  • Fixed: issue with achievement progress on Sabotage achievements
  • Fixed: immunity placement issue
  • Fixed: unicode problem with player names when they are the saboteur

Version 3.1.1 - Electrocuted [ 09/09/15 ]

  • Added: Poster file for DLC
  • Added: last two achievements for the game, both for non-saboteurs
  • Changed: statistics layout for new achievements
  • Changed: Sabotage update functions to accommodate new stats
  • Changed: player file to mirror new changes to Sabotage Update
  • Fixed: saboteur's name not displaying for non-DLC users
  • Fixed: new graphically placement for immunities

Version 3.1.0 - Electrocuted [ 09/08/15 ]

  • Changed: all Sabotage Update achievements available for all players
  • Fixed: issues with saboteur just hanging out, set timer
  • Fixed: small grammatic and spelling issues
  • Fixed: crashing issue with Windows 32-bit
  • Fixed: music error with Deluxe Edition

Version 3.0.1 - Drowned [ 09/07/15 ]

  • Added: condition to check saboteur stats before quitting game
  • Fixed: missing images for Saboteur in Deluxe and normal versions
  • Fixed: missing saboteur name in normal version
  • Fixed: positioning of saboteur label in normal and Deluxe in Linux

Version 3.0.0 - Drowned [ 09/07/15 ]

  • Added: one new achievement for non-DLC owners
  • Added: ten new deaths for Sabotage update
  • Added: four new achievements for DLC owners
  • Added: Sabotage features for all players - adds random ruthlessness
  • Added: Sabotage choices for DLC owners
  • Added: new graphics for update
  • Added: redistributable for Windows 32-bit and 64-bit users
  • Changed: statistic section layouts
  • Changed: achievement section layouts
  • Fixed: die.sh launcher for Linux users
  • Fixed: various small spelling and grammic mistakes
  • Fixed: annoying "helper" messages blocking text, now clickable!

Version 2.1.0 - Choked [ 09/03/15 ]

  • Added: libsteam_api.so into Linux branch to fix some crashes
  • Fixed: launch issue with Windows 32-bit (we think)
  • Fixed: achievements firing while in game and not at the main menu
  • Fixed: path issue with save files for Windows
  • Fixed: missing headcrab death text
  • Fixed: Steam usernames not moving over to CoaguCo's server for leaderboards
  • Fixed: weird issue with the leaderboards where two columns were swapped
  • Fixed: unique death counter (everyone got free achievements!)
  • Fixed: small grammar issues

Version 2.0.0 - Choked [ 07/25/15 ]

  • Added Steam-specific deaths and achievement
  • Changed CoaguCo e-mail to Steam name on menu screen

The Big List Of Deaths

Here are all the current ways you can die in the game; 157 in total. Good luck.
Asterisk (*) denotes deaths only in Deluxe Edition. Halloween and X-Mas deaths are only available during their respective seasons.

Regular Deaths

  1. Choked from coughing
  2. Shellfish allergy
  3. Consuming anti-freeze
  4. Eaten by mice
  5. Microwave explosion
  6. Choking on a bottle cap
  7. Telephone electrocution
  8. Shot with an arrow
  9. Electrocuted via fork
  10. Miscellaneous 404 error
  11. Carbon monoxide
  12. Accidental suicidal cutting
  13. Tub drowning
  14. Crack skull on sink
  15. Deliberate poisoning
  16. Crushed by closet junk
  17. Snapping your neck
  18. Accidental gunshot
  19. Brain aneurysm
  20. Tortoise shell impact
  21. Limnic eruption
  22. Strangled by a scarf
  23. Executed by a maniac
  24. Car bomb
  25. Crushed by a falling plane
  26. Blasted by a hydrant
  27. Burned to death
  28. Killed by separation
  29. Insane food poisoning
  30. Dirty bomb explosion
  31. Smothered by a fat stripper
  32. Mercury poisoning
  33. Succumb to infection
  34. Head explodes
  35. Punctured by metal pieces
  36. Choked in space
  37. Drown in poop
  38. Drowned in the sewer
  39. Stabbed to death
  40. Die from laughing
  41. Hit by a bus
  42. Crushed by a landing seaplane
  43. Died from radiation
  44. Killed by a cop
  45. Heart stopped
  46. Hit by a golf ball
  47. Killed by ball lightning
  48. Mauled by zombies
  49. Lasered by aliens
  50. Car fire
  51. Crushed by an asteroid
  52. Over-eating
  53. Changing seats on a roller-coaster
  54. Snake bite
  55. Rat poison
  56. Alcohol poisoning
  57. Die from a hernia
  58. Exhaustion
  59. Terrorist bombing
  60. Electrocuted by wires
  61. Electrocuted by microphone
  62. Giant meat grinder
  63. Drown in vomit
  64. Decapitation
  65. Mauled by a bear
  66. Get lynched
  67. Choke on a corndog
  68. Drown in molasses
  69. Drown in beer
  70. Impaled on a spike
  71. Shanked by a prisoner
  72. Killed in a drive-by
  73. Crushed by a falling wall
  74. Crushed by a falling sign
  75. Overdose
  76. Ravaged by sharks
  77. Impact a pole
  78. Crushed by a piano
  79. Raped by dogs
  80. Nose-bleed
  81. Pipe bomb
  82. Stomped by a robot
  83. Hit by surfboard
  84. Crushed by a Saguaro
  85. Broken in a chimney
  86. Skinned alive
  87. Struck by lightning
  88. Mauled by a lion
  89. Beaten by a mob
  90. Spontaneous explosion
  91. Telephone pole electrocution
  92. Mauled by kittens
  93. Bitten by spiders
  94. Massive diarrhea and vomiting
  95. Drown in tub
  96. Stabbed in the back
  97. Crushed by giant slingshot
  98. Burned to death in bed
  99. Crushed by falling jet engine
  100. Bridge collapse
  101. Molotov cocktail
  102. Death by bed
  103. The unknown!
  104. Cannibalism
  105. Creeper
  106. Bleeding out
  107. Crushed by salt
  108. By airbag
  109. Torn by semi
  110. By the past
  111. By lawnmower
  112. The Tickler! *
  113. Gutted by toilet *
  114. Voodoo! *
  115. Boredom *
  116. Clones attack *
  117. Catapult into window *

Steam Deaths

  1. GabeN!
  2. Burned by steam
  3. Exploding steam engine
  4. Headcrabs!
  5. Counter-Terrorists win *
  6. The Spy-cicle *
  7. ...With Portals *
  8. Shiny turret *
  9. The Combine *
  10. Taaaaank! *

Halloween Deaths

  1. Fright
  2. Poison Candy
  3. Skeletons
  4. Franklin Stein
  5. Jack-o-lantern
  6. Vampire
  7. Lagoon Creature
  8. Black Cat
  9. Mummy
  10. The Man Wolf

Sabotage Deaths

  1. House collapsing
  2. Bloody Mary
  3. Beaten by milkmen
  4. Fall in trap door
  5. Crushed by falling tree
  6. Clerk shooting
  7. Bee attack
  8. Tea-Cup launching
  9. Construction accident
  10. IED

X-Mas Deaths

  1. The Krampus
  2. The Present
  3. Candy Caned
  4. X-Mas Lights
  5. Reindeer Mob
  6. Santa Strangler
  7. Snow Angel
  8. Carolers
  9. X-Mas Tree
  10. Frostly Snowman